New Anti-Magnistky Bill – Russia Disallows Children to Receive Treatment at U.S. Hospitals

January 22, 2013 by 3 Comments

"If Russian officials can't enter U.S., neither should our orphans or diabetics," Putin.

“If Russian officials can’t enter U.S., neither should our orphans or diabetics,” Putin.

MOSCOW – On January 22, Russian State Duma adopted a new piece of legislation in an effort to punish Americans for the notorious “Magnistky bill” that bans Russian officials from entry to U.S.. The new law bans adolescent Russian diabetics from receiving any form of treatment at U.S. hospitals or using U.S.-produced insulin.

This is Russia’s second punitive action against U.S. for the anti-Russian Magnistsky bill which banned Russian officials suspected in killing a human rights activist in a Moscow jail. Russia’s first round of revenge to U.S. came in form of a bill banning American couples from adopting Russian orphans and robbing them of  a happy orphan childhood in Russia. The law is expected to save hundreds of Russian orphans from so-called “families” in U.S. Կարդալ ավելին Read more

Բաժին` English, Լուրեր, Քաղաքական

Anti-Gay Protest in Yerevan Provokes Unprecedented Public Interest in Gays

October 9, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Protesters saving Armenia from “Parada”‘-caused plunge into nationwide homosexuality.

YEREVAN – On October 8, anti-gay nationalist group rallied  Yerevan streets to inform general public about unadvertised gay event and encouraging the nation not to show up for it. Previously clueless public now intrigued by the event.

Sponsored by the German Embassy in Yerevan, the screening of “Parada” movie about gay rights in Serbia was going to be another boring non-event attended by usual suspects, until young enthusiastic hate-group helped publicize the event. Կարդալ ավելին Read more

Բաժին` English, Սոցիալական, Լուրեր

Anders Breivik Applies for Extradition to Azerbaijan

September 8, 2012 by 3 Comments

“Because I qualify”, – Breivik

OSLO – Norway’s notorious mass murderer Anders Breivik’s attorney has submitted an application to Azerbaijani Embassy in Oslo seeking opportunities for extradition. Breivik explains his decision to solicit the extradition and further pursuit of Azerbaijani citizenship by shared philosophy and values with Azerbaijan’s current regime.

Norway’s mass murderer who took lives of 69 people in 2011 in a shooting spree in Oslo made scandalous announcement on Friday appealing to the government of Azerbaijan to address his extradition request. Breivik provided his background portfolio, which elaborates his experience and qualifications in cold-blooded murders. Կարդալ ավելին Read more

Բաժին` English, Քաղաքական

Europe Calls on Armenia and Azerbaijan to Stop Axing Each Other’s Soldiers in Sleep

September 4, 2012 by 7 Comments

“Armenia and Azerbaijan must stop axing each other and then releasing the hackers and then patronizing them as heroes,” – Ashton

BRUSSELS - Catherine Ashton, High Representative of the Union for Foreign Affairs and Security Policy has harshly condemned the act of extradition of persons serving prison terms in Budapest to Azerbaijan or Armenia. The European official encouraged the parties of the Karabakh conflict to refrain from provocations and to generally take it easy.

“We are very concerned about the fact that Azerbaijani and Armenian soldiers axe each other in sleep and all that. Apparently, Armenia and Azerbaijan are clueless about the European values or have been misinterpreting them, – said Ashton, – What we, Europeans, do is talk things over and compromise. It’s a shame that Armenia, Azerbaijan, Georgia and South Ossetia attack each other at night in Budapest. It’s just wrong and non-European.” Կարդալ ավելին Read more

Բաժին` English, Քաղաքական

Earth in Shock: A Government Openly Prostitutes

September 2, 2012 by 3 Comments

Unforgettable night 47°26′N 19°15′E, Earth

Government of Hungary, an average sized country from the planet Earth is accused of soliciting sexual services to Azerbaijan, a country from the very same planet. Witnesses say sex between the two countries erupted in Government offices of Budapest, swept all the way to Azerbaijan, where Hungary performed several blowjobs and ended with a makeout session of the exhibitionist couple in front of entire international community.

Various analysts claim that the long erotic night cost Azerbaijan as much as 2-3 bln dollars , a jawdropping sum that even prostitution moguls have never heard of. Կարդալ ավելին Read more

Բաժին` English, Լուրեր

Armenian Leadership Describes OSCE/ODIHR Observation as “Mainly Peaceful and Competitive”

May 10, 2012 by 2 Comments

"OSCE team gets better by the year. We are hopeful they will address our concerns in their performance next time", - Sargsyan

YEREVAN – RA Foreign Ministry and Chief of Staff of the President described recent OSCE/ODIHR observation report as “a significant step forward”. The evaluation of the report also contains certain recommendations to make the next observation more exciting and incorporate the attribute of usefulness. 

RA President Chief of Staff Vigen Sargsyan stated earlier: “The OSCE observation was conducted mainly in peaceful and competitive conditions. Of course, there were certain deficiencies, which would not affect the overall outcome of the observation”.  Կարդալ ավելին Read more

Բաժին` English, Լուրեր

Serzh Sargsyan Once Again Failed to Pronounce “Genocide” in his Annual April-25 Address to Native Americans

April 25, 2012 by 3 Comments

Armenian President once again replaces "Genocide" term with "Trail of Tears" euphemism

YEREVAN – Armenian President Serzh Sargsyan once again fell short of the expectations of Native Americans in his annual speech commemorating the extermination of 10 millions of Apache, Navajo, Cherokee and other North American tribes’ population through 1492-1973.

In his  annual April-25 address to the Native American’s, Serzh Sargsyan  stated: “Some 520 years ago, one of the great atrocities of modern times began. Each year, we pause to remember the 10 million Native Americans who were subsequently massacred or marched to their death in the primal days of the early American States, which became known as the Trail of Tears. Կարդալ ավելին Read more

Բաժին` English, Լուրեր

OSCE Officially Vowed It Won’t Send a Group of Useless Schmucks to Monitor Armenia’s Parliamentary Elections This Time

March 1, 2012 by Leave a Comment

"So, basically we are going to make ourselves useful during the elections this time", - Hofstra

YEREVAN – OSCE Office in Armenia announced on Wednesday it’s revised  strategy to election monitoring for the May election to the National Assembly. The new strategy has created controversy over the unexpected usefulness of the new approach.  Deputy head of OSCE office in Yerevan Carel Hofstra clarified the details. Կարդալ ավելին Read more

Բաժին` English, Սոցիալական

A Day in Life of Ilham Aliyev (English version)

January 24, 2012 by 1 Comment

Ilham Aliyev President of AzerbaijanWe followed Ilham Aliyev for one day and here’s the comic book that was born as a result. 6 different episodes from world’s ilhamest Կարդալ ավելին Read more

Բաժին` English, Լուրեր, Նկարներ

Sir Elton John to Dedicate a Song To Kim Jong Il

December 19, 2011 by 3 Comments

Elton John releases Asshole in the Wind dedicated to Kim Jong Il

New single will hit the stores before Christmas

LONDON – Singer Elton John is once again changing the lyrics of his 1990 hit song to dedicate it to late North Korean dictator Kim Chong Il. The remake will be entitled Asshole in the Wind and the single shall be released worldwide, with the exception of North Korea. Elton John fans in North Korea won’t be able to listen to the song dedicated to their beloved leader for a number of reasons: 1) the complete ban of Internet by the beloved himself makes music downloads very tricky; 2) CDs are yet to be introduced in Կարդալ ավելին Read more

Բաժին` English, Աշխարհ, ShowBiz

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