Armenian Parliament Legalizes Blowjob

YEREVAN — Early On Tuesday the National Assembly ratified the long disputed bill on oral liberties endorsed by European Council. After four parliamentary sessions, the bill finally was adopted although remains highly controversial. Right wing nationalist parties championed by Dashnaks have voted against the legislation calling it “anti-Armenian”, “anti-Christian” and “anti-demographic”.

For over two-decades of post Soviet Armenia, the society has struggled patiently to identify the niche of blowjob in the conservative mentality of the people. The phenomenon has long been ranked as “inappropriate” and “clumsy”. However after Armenia’s accession to the European Council and increase of tourist flow to the country, the ice finally broke.

The bill will come into force as early as November 2010 with a pilot project in Syunik. After two-month probation, the successful experience and lessons learnt will later be spread to other marzes through aggressive PR campaign and more importantly – word of mouth.

European Council has applauded to the bill tagged as “oral breakthrough”. “We are happy to see Armenia striding towards European value system. We have all gone through the thorny path of shameful stereotypes to appreciating the sheer joy. Among other advantages of this maneuver is that BJ is a great family-planning tool for young families and adolescents”, says ЕC special envoy to Caucasus Angela Kasperchiks.

A selection of over 20 best experts of the area from Northern France have been dispatched to Armenia to share experience and make presentations on relevant case studies and success stories. Anette Sequistan, head of the ad-hoc expert group says: “We’re prepared to face serious challenges, as 70 years of Soviet rule and over 1700 years of religious constraints have scarred the sexual life of our Caucasian friends. Fortunately, majority of male citizens embrace the new experience and happen to be very proactive in many cases, although so far only on confidentiality grounds at this point and only with our lady-experts.”

Currently Armenia continues to explore advantages of unconventional sex and try balancing them with urgent demography needs.
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