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The Celentano Code

by Narek

Nick Celentano Rocks Yerevan
Nick Celentano Rocks Yerevan

Yerevan’s 2791st birthday was not just about rainbows, lollipops and butterflies, the climax of the day was the performance of world famous singer, winner of 7 Glemmy awards and multiple platinum cassettes the one and only Nick Celentano. Yerevan residents were pleasantly surprised to see him perform  on the Republic Square,  instead of Adriano Celentano, a long forgotten Italian crooner. Yerevan Mayor’s office was bombarded with thank-you-letters, Hallmark cards and teddy bears sent by grateful music aficionados the following day.

Press Secretary of Mayor’s office Yerjanik Shat-Ladokyan informed citizens that it was a PR move to belittle their tremendous work and tell people they’d be getting Adriano and then surprise them with Nick Celentano. “Yes, we were very modest in the past, and now I think it is the time to tell you one more secret. Armenians who recently paid 120 000 drams for one ticket will be delighted to know that they had seen Lara Pugacheva instead of the old and worthless Alla!” Shat-Ladokyan added that it was just the beginning of many surprises and Yerevanites will be treated to many more megastars in the future. “We are currently negotiating with C.C. King, Modern Walking, Louis Legstrong, Mad Donna and even Michael Gackson, so the best is yet to come.”

SOAD fans got old and married waiting for their idols to play in Armenia
SOAD fans got old and married waiting for their idols to play in Armenia

“The best may come, but we definitely never will”  was the strong reaction of Serj Tankian, frontman of System of A Down, US rock band with Armenian origins and many Armenian flags. Tankian and the rest of the band were really pissed off by the fact that nobody invited them to perform at the concert. “After all the times we waved Armenian flags in our videos, we are neglected? Of course Nick Celentano is a musical legend, no argue there, but did he ever wave an Armenian flag? We will never play in Armenia!” added lead guitarist Daron Malakian. The band that became famous for patriotism to Armenia did not play in the country even once, through 15 years of existence.

Yerevan Mayor’s office asked citizens not to worry because of eccentric musicians and promised to make an even better show with System of A Clown, System of A Frown and System of A Noun, featuring Let Zeppelin as the warm-up. “We are aware that many SOAD fans got old, married and died waiting for their favorite band to perform in Armenia, but this will soon end, after all we got Nick Celentano to sing with Forsh, so nothing is impossible” concluded Shat-Ladokyan.

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3 Comments

  1. Squeezer Squeezer Հոկտեմբերի 15, 2009

    Yes actually we have a long established traditions of forging or presenting the cheap shit for diamonds!

  2. Italiaitalia Italiaitalia Հունիսի 17, 2011

    Actually, I just was at the concert with Italians and Nick was performing there. He has absolutely beautiful voice and he’s got talent. I enjoyed his performance and think it’s great he sings Adriano’s songs because Adriano himself would never fly over the ocean. Though in my opinion, Nick could be famous just being himself.

    • Narek Narek Post author | Հունիսի 17, 2011

      Yet Armenia is not over the ocean. It used to be just next to Roman Empire

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