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New Anti-Magnistky Bill — Russia Disallows Children to Receive Treatment at U.S. Hospitals

"If Russian officials can't enter U.S., neither should our orphans or diabetics," Putin.
“If Russian officials can’t enter U.S., neither should our orphans or diabetics,” Putin.

MOSCOWOn January 22, Russian State Duma adopted a new piece of legislation in an effort to punish Americans for the notorious “Magnistky bill” that bans Russian officials from entry to U.S.. The new law bans adolescent Russian diabetics from receiving any form of treatment at U.S. hospitals or using U.S.-produced insulin.

This is Russia’s second punitive action against U.S. for the anti-Russian Magnistsky bill which banned Russian officials suspected in killing a human rights activist in a Moscow jail. Russia’s first round of revenge to U.S. came in form of a bill banning American couples from adopting Russian orphans and robbing them of  a happy orphan childhood in Russia. The law is expected to save hundreds of Russian orphans from so-called “families” in U.S.

This step was largely welcomed by both Russian Government and the Russian orphans. Nikita Matrosov, 7, from Moscow’s orphanage #3192 after F. Dzerjinsky shares support: “I think this is the best piece of legislation we’ve had since WWII. Finally, we can fully embrace our orphanhood here in  Russia, where every condition for a fully-fledged parentless life are secured.”

"We, the orphans, condemn the "Magnistki bill" and refuse to have a happy family in U.S. with all the stupid Disney lands and parks...", Nikita.
“We, the orphans, condemn the “Magnistky bill””, Nikita.

Nikita believes that a country that invaded Iraq claiming there are WMD and failed to produce such upon invasion should not be allowed to offer family shelter to not only Russian, but children of any country.  “Just look at the statistics — only some 90% of kids or so end up having a happy childhood in adopted families, while the overwhelming 10% have issues… The whole adoption is just another multinational corporation scam orchestrated by the Obama regime”, the orphan believes.

The second punitive bill was introduced to the Russian state Duma on January 21 and proposes to ban all Russian under-age diabetics from receiving any form medical aid in U.S. or inject U.S. produced insulin. The measure is called to further punish the Obama administration  for the Magnistki bill and make sure similar bills are not put to vote in the future.

U.S. Congressman Chris Chirstie tried making sense of the situation: ‘We’re still trying to figure out in what way the Russian bill punishes us.. I mean, obviously, we feel bad about the Russian kids who won’t get needed medical treatment, but.. you know.. We assume punishing U.S. would involve more of… punishing U.S. and not the Russian kids.”

Russian President Vladimir Putin urges that the measure is necessary to secure Russian children from potential medical abuse in U.S. “What are the guarantees that American doctors, per se, don’t pee in the insulin. Just look at the statistics — there are thousands of people dying of diabetes in U.S. every year and we don’t want our children to be among those.”

While U.S. officials continue to ponder how the new law harms any American interest, the Russian Duma is drafting several new anti-Americans bills including stripping Russian newborns of state benefits, depriving schools of wheelchair ramps, and taxing Russian-based Jews.


  1. Emil Hartoonian via Facebook Emil Hartoonian via Facebook 22/01/2013

    Jack Ass..

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