Obama Admits Taking Fake Sick Leave Amid Snowstorm in DC

By Sergey

Washington DC, USA – President Barack Obama addressed the nation early Friday with apologies for taking dubious sick leave while nation’s capital suffered from heavy snowstorm and economic crisis was at peak.  To note, earlier on Thursday President’s press secretary had announced to media that president was on sick leave for food poisoning and will stay in bed till Monday.

The original “sick leave” announcement, however, was reversed after paparazzis busted Obama at local shop  buying beer and chips. New Yorker journalist Allan Click, who caught Obama red-handed, shares: “I realized it was the President, by the way he was trying to convince the cashier that healthcare reform was a priority for the shop. Despite the cashier’s scared comments that he was just a student from India and gave no damn about the reform, the guy with the beer and chips just kept repeating ‘YES, We Can”.

Later, Obama spoke to the nation assuring the fake sick leave will not be repeated. “You know how it feels to wake up after a snowstorm and realize you need to deal with recession, healthcare and taking puppy to the vet..  I’m a human being and want to relax sometimes with beer and chips, so let’s not make a big deal of this, folks. I’ve already said I’m sorry and frankly I had actually been sneezing in the morning. You can ask Michele, so technically I kind-of deserved the sick-leave. In any case I’ll make it up by working over the weekend..”, said Obama in a brief press conference.

Shortly after the announcement, Republicans denounced the President for “irresponsible behavior in times of crisis”. Chief Republican John Boehner said: “We all are entitled to sick leave days, but I haven’t taken one in years! I even see my dentist on weekends or holidays. How can Obama talk about Healthcare reforms while he fakes issues with health himself?”

Political analyst Richard Giragosian explains potential odds of the dispute. “Worst case scenario is that the new Healthcare bill slashes sick leave days from 12 to 10 or even 9 per year, which is very likely under given pressure by Republicans. God, I hope this does not happen…”, mentioned Giragosian.

Republican Governor of California articulated a surprise-support to Obama in an interview to “Gold’s Gym Daily”. Schwarzenegger particularly said: “I realize this may not be a popular statement, but I support President’s decision to use his sick leave days. I know how it feels to be deprived of the legally entitled paid sick leave days. Personally I had saved 10 sick leave days in 2009 and then as I wanted to take them in early January this year, they told me ‘hey, it’s not transferred to the next fiscal year’, so I literally lost 10 days of potential staying home and hanging out with friends..”.

The argument was soothed after George Bush, who stepped in to share experience on similar situations: “It’s really simple, you guys. It’s not nucilar science”, said ex-president jokingly. “You just take some ‘compensation time’, i.e. is the time you worked on a weekend or holiday, which I believe Obama has done a lot, and use it for such occasions. As for sick leave days, it’s best to fake a mental illness for excuse rather than food poisoning. A 100% proven method”, advised Bush Jr.