Exclusive Interview with Saakashvili

by Narek

Armenian Comedy (A.C.) team just returned from Tbilisi, Georgia, where we had an exclusive interview with Georgian President Mikheil Saakashvili (M.S.), who in the recent week has been in the center of spotlight more than usually. Sharing a couple of beers and peanuts, Saakashvili got very sincere with Armenian journalists.

A.C. Mr President, it’s been a while since our last meeting, how have you been?

M.S. Awesome, I’ve been following the success of your website, although I think you make too many jokes about Georgians, we are not that funny. On a scale from 1 to 10, with 1 being boring 10 being hilarious, Georgians are a solid 4, while you Armenians are an 8.

A.C. That’s exactly why we decided not to write jokes about Georgians, but rather have a serious interview. You seem very excited today, what is the reason?

M.S. Yeah, I’m pretty excited, I’m still enjoying that big BOOM I made in Kutaisi, it was awesome, guys, the huge thing just went BOOM and then all that there was left was concrete and rubble. That was the awesomest thing ever, dude!

A.C. But that was a monument for WWII veterans, don’t you think you kind of disrespected them by blowing that monument?

M.S. No, I totally respect veterans, veterans are awesome dude, but I really, really needed that spot! I needed to move Parliament from Tbilisi.

A.C. Right, you blew up a historic monument to move Parliament, why, isn’t there some other “isi” besides Tbilisi and Kutaisi, to have Parliament in?

M.S. Well I’d really rather have the Parliament in Kutaisi. Being the only politician in town just boosts my general awesomeness, besides the Parliament was on Rustaveli street and real estate is pretty expensive there.

A.C. Wait, are you planning to sell that territory?

M.S. Correction, I already sold the place, ka-ching! Guess where the new Wal-Mart’s gonna be?

A.C. But why destroy a monument to move the damn Parliament, why not move it somewhere else.

M.S. Yeah maybe you’re right, on the other hand, you really should’ve heard that BOOM, you guys, that was really freaking awesome!

A.C Did you hear that Vladimir Putin wants to rebuild that monument in Moscow?

M.S. Oh that douchebag, he’s all about PRing himself, besides I don’t think there’s any space left in Moscow. This whole Putin thing is just so unawesome in every way. Have a peanut…

A.C. Mr. President, what was the public reaction in Georgia, did people protest against the explosion?

M.S. Not really, people of Georgia know how awesome I am and that I’ll never make a bad decision. In fact I spend all the foreign aid money on my SAAP.

A.C. What’s an SAAP?

M.S. Saakashvili Awesomeness Awareness Program, it just tells everyone the truth about me, and accelerates their natural tendency to like me.

A.C. Indeed everyone likes you and your Youtube tie video was a smash hit.

M.S. Yep, I got my own Youtube channel and Cartier signed a contract with me to advertise their new tie line. It’s so awesome

A.C. And what are your plans for the future, besides showbusiness and advertising?

M.S. Well I really like this explosion thing, I might do a little more of that. We still have a lot of buildings in the country built by Soviet occupants, so I’m gonna do more BOOMS in the future, it’s gonna be awesome.

A.C. And lastly we noticed that you’ve been using the word “awesome” quite a few times, what’s up with that Mr. President?

M.S. Awesome is just such an awesome word and it just sums up my personality so well…I think it might have been invented for me. English-Georgian dictionaries now have my photo as the definition of the word.

A.C. Thank you very much Mr. President for the in-depth interview, we wish you luck in your…whatever it is you’re doing.

M.S. Already leaving? Let’s go play some Nintendo Wii…I got this really cool new game, guys, don’t go…