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Angela Merkel Slams Iranian Holocaust Denial: “Trust me. We actually did it.”

By Sergey

Germany Elections
Merkel calling Iranian leader 'a liar'

On November 9th Germany celebrated 20th anniversary of fall of Berlin wall as German leader in her speech denounced Iran for insensitive and misleading remarks on the Holocaust.

Just a few days prior to the anniversary Mahmoud Ahmadinejad once agains stated that Holocaus is a ‘myth’ and that WWII was Germany’s self-defense against bullies like Poland, Belgium and Czechoslovakia.

“ …I would like to briefly address Iranian leadership,” said Angela Merkel after long speech on the Wall. “Could he be any more ridiculous? There was no Holocaust, huh? Give me a break, for Chrissake,” exclaimed Merkel to thousands gathered in the square. “We actually spent years of pains and spared no efforts to accomplish that and now an amateur anti-Semite hops out to take the credit from us.. Read my lips Ahmadinejan – WE DID IT.”

Merkel tried to remain cool albeit emotions gave way at times: “Iran needs to stop stealing our WWII credit and think of shaping its own portfolio. Ahmadinejad only promises to ‘destroy Zionist State’. He just talks the talk but fails to walk the walk and thus keeps questioning others’ milestones. This is ten million people vanishing that we are talking about. How can one deny that?”

One of the reporters from CNN was quick to correct Merkel’s fact-sheet: “I believe it was 6 million Jewish people involved not 10.”

“So much you don’t know, young man,” coldly commented Merkel. “So much you don’t know.”

Further on through ceremony, Merkel also addressed USSR former and only president Mikhail Gorbachev: “Mr. Gorbacher, German people are grateful to you for the way you handled affairs that led to tearing down this wall and consequently collapse of USSR. It takes incredible talent and energy to allow so many things to fall apart within such a short reign.”

gorbachev
'Apparently being a useless president pays off, if you screw up the right country', Gorbachev

Gorbachev took the floor to thank distinguished guests clapping to his achievements as a leader. “Thank you ladies and gentlemen. Frankly, I truly believed that leading a huge country into an economic and political fiasco would make me look… a bit worse than I seem to look now.”

Gorbachev humbly smiled with tense frustration in his voice in a seeming disbelief of his own recognition: “Well, I guess I’m not such a bad leader after all.” Gorbachev’s remark was cut by a thunder of applauds from Western leaders’ side.

“Oh God, I seriously feared I’d be credited as a loser after I totally screwed up USSR, but I guess this was just ‘doing bad thing at right time in right place’ situation,” said Gorbachev with a frustrated chuckle noticing unhappy look of Russian president, “but I’m glad I didn’t completely dismantle Russia, as it might have seemed at first.”

Other leaders also expressed cheers over the “Wall Anniversary”, praised Gorbachev for refraining from trying to effectively govern USSR and condemned Ahmadinejad for questioning historic credit of Germany.

Only Dimity Medvedev looked more upset than festive through the event. As he later shared with our reporter he had “mixed emotions about fall of the wall, as it was Russia that spent money on construction and years of maintenance.”

4 Comments

  1. արտավազդ արտավազդ Նոյեմբերի 10, 2009

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    Երևի մինչև հիմա ամենաբոցն էր: Կամ ամենաբոցերից մեկը)

  2. Name (required) Name (required) Նոյեմբերի 19, 2009

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  3. Sabbi Sabbi Մարտի 1, 2010

    This is top-notch, your absolute best so far. Bravo, Sergey, braaaaavo!!!!

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