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Opposition Rally Kicks off with Ceremonial Sacrifice of Young Republican Virgin on Top of Matenadaran

By Sergey

Opposition leader sips ceremonial cocktail before excited crowd
Opposition leader sips ceremonial cocktail before excited crowd

On September 18th Armenian National Congress gathered over 85 thousand people around Matenadaran area to announce a new phase of revolution. Prior to starting the rally, First President Levon Ter-Petrosian following the established tradition, cut open a young virgin from the rival Republican party prepared for the occasion and handed the rest of the body to gathered supporters who apparently had not had lunch for a while. The heart of the sacrificed Republican was sent to Moscow as a sign of political courtesy.

“The regime is living down its last days. Our victory is inevitable,” said Ter-Petrosian as he sipped the cocktail “Bloody Republican” . “Once we take over, we’ll knock on the door of every supporter of the regime in the darkness, we’ll drag them out into the  Republican square and we’ll organize world’s biggest tribute to Janna D’Ark (Joan of Ark).”

After presenting a 30-minute depiction of torture and pains the incumbents will experience as opposition takes over, Ter-Petrosian proposed the regime to resign, promising to “only chop off the hands” of those who voluntarily resign.

Stepan Demirchyan of allied opposition supported the line: “Oh, I don’t want to be a Republican when this guy comes to power. I’m really happy I joined this side on time.”

During the rally our reporter spotted confusion and hustle in the southern part of the rally, which by then reached 300 thousand supporters. It later was clarified that the Armenian National Movement was trying to bring forward another regime representative from Prosperous Armenia party for sacrifice, but the police halted the move as the town hall had sanctioned only one public execution for the rally.

Head of Yerevan Police Aristakes Piskyan explained: “They (the opposition) are entitled to sacrifice only one politician and one police officer per rally. It’s their choice, and we appreciate it, that they refrained from involving a police virgin in their ceremony, but sacrificing a second politician would be an outrage.”

'What do we want -fresh blood, when do we want it - NOW'
'What do we want -fresh blood, when do we want it - NOW'

After the rally, the crowd marched around the city chanting “what do we want – fresh blood, when do want it – NOW”. The overall event went peaceful and no major incidents took place through the day and the  march was over by 11:00 p.m.

US Embassy in Armenia issued a press release the next day stating disappointment that “the heart of the Republican virgin was sent only to the Russian authorities.” The release elaborates that large US assistance to Armenia has been flowing in since 1991 and expressed hope that “at least a small, symbolic portion of unprocessed ruling flesh be sent to the US administration on future occasions.”