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Armenian Prostitutes Confused By Street Trade Ban

"Will street trade ban cause extinction of Earth's oldest profession?" historians are worried

YEREVAN — Hundreds of lonely men remain unsatisfied, Kiev-Yerevan flight is on the verge of cancellation and that is just the tip of the iceberg.  Recent ban of street trade by new Yerevan mayor Karen Karapetyan raised a strong waive of protests among vendors of fruits, sunglasses, flowers, bubble-gum and random crap. While street vendors picket Yerevan City hall and demand justice, one group of street vendors remains confused. Yerevan prostitutes haven’t worked for the past week, trying to decide whether to join the street vendors or to continue working under the risk of being fined.

“Prostitution is generally unwelcome by the Armenian legislation, yet we’ve worked on streets for years, right in the center of Yerevan and nobody seemed to arrest us because we had our ways of satisfying the needs the right people. Banning the street trade was a cheap blow (no pun intended) and we don’t know what to do next ”  — said Prostitutes Union spokesperson Susanna “Sugar Lips” Simonyan.

“I’m a law abiding person. The day authorities started requiring receipts, I was the first to buy a cash register and provide receipts to my clients. Everyone seemed happy, especially tourists on business trips, since they’d cover their expenses under “tasting local cuisine” budge line.” — told Armishka, a 43 year old veteran of the business.

The suspense on prostitution already caused a chain reaction and harmed a number of very legal businesses. Taxi night shifts, motels, saunas, pharmacies as well as mini skirt and pantyhose import are becoming less and less profitable.

"I don't care if I cause a few heart attacks pulling a daytime shift"

Some of transsexuals hookers are ready for more drastic measures: “Our office is right next to the Mayor’s office, is this a proper way to treat neighbors? If the ban on street trade continues we’ll start showing up near City Hall at daytime too, demonstrating our protest and scaring the crap out of children and seniors.”  — assured Arshaluys.

The prostitution community is willing to negotiate, if necessary develop new discount packages for law-enforcers and tax service, do open door days every week as long as they are allowed to carry on their street trade. If their conditions are not met the street girls (in some cases street boys) will be forced to continue their work at home.

“I’d hate to work at home”, — shared Inga, whose workplace was right across Alexander Tamanyan statue — “fresh air is good for you, very healthy.”


  1. Ab Gar via Facebook Ab Gar via Facebook 27/01/2011

    articles are cool but the ppl demand a new 3d update! 🙂

  2. Thank you, 3D Update will return mid/late February with cool modifications. Expect teasers soon 😉

  3. Ab Gar via Facebook Ab Gar via Facebook 27/01/2011

    nice i hope you’ll stop using the onions news song while youre at it..
    love 3d update.. reminds me of snl’s weekend update.. .. wish 3d update was a weekly thing too..

  4. That particular track is open source and available to all Apple users for free, its public domain. Why Onion used t for so long I don’t kow, but so did many movies and websites )) However now the Onian has a new soundtrack and we are working on one too 😉

  5. Ab Gar via Facebook Ab Gar via Facebook 27/01/2011

    So what are the chances of 3d update coming out weekly?

  6. Ab Gar via Facebook Ab Gar via Facebook 27/01/2011

    nice.. cant wait.. good luck! 🙂

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