Moscow-for-Moscovites, RUSSIAN REICH — Early Saturday Russian President Medvedev signed a number of legislative acts, officially renaming capital Moscow to Moscow-for-Moscovites and the whole country from Russian Federation into Russian Reich. Estimated ten thousand young Nazis gathered on the Red Square to celebrate the long expected decision with joyful Nazi salutes and some casual ethnic minority beating.
While many Russians object to becoming Fourth Reich, President Medvedev said the following: “What you all need to keep in mind is that I am the cool and progressive Twiter/iPhone using President, I mean fuhrer….sorry takes time to adjust… Anyway I know this might seem strange at first since we lost 20 mln. lives fighting fascism in WWII, but the time has come to do something about the immigrants. And after long discussions the Government decided that beating the shit out of them would be the most progressive and intellectual solutions.” Those citizens who do not accept the openly Nazi government are likely to be relocated to Siberia, where they can join immigrants from Caucasus, Asia at new exciting concentration camps awaiting labor force.
ArmComedy managed to find a blond wig to interview one of the rioting skinheads who agreed to answer a few questions while kicking a young Kazakh student in the face with 7 other like-minded. “They are not even Russians…All these sober guys coming here taking our jobs, being so irresistibly sexy to our women…it’s just not fair. I think once we get rid of them my life will change” said Anton Kozlov, 24 year old Nazi jackass. In the crowd we spotted a 15 year old girl with a Molotov cocktail trying to set a car on fire: “I dated a guy from Armenia. We went on 2 dates and then he never called.” A petition was sent to Mayor of Moscow asking to demolish all of the city’s hotels, motels and hostels to emphasize one of the crowd’s main points “Moscow for Moscovites.”
Russia’s transformation wasn’t welcomed by any sane world leaders, however early today President Medvedev and Prime Minister Vladimir Putin both received mysterious telegrams from Argentina. “Grandpa would be very proud.”