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Armenian Government Pissed Off with Economic Crisis

By Sergey

'I hate this crisis. Just hate it...'

As the consequences of the global economic crisis become more evident, Government loses grip over emotions.

Prime Minister Sargsyan stated at the extraordinary Government session; “This crisis sucks! I hate it! I was the best educated Prime Minister this country had, I am non-partisan and professional, but it had to be me to lead government in crisis? Isn’t it kind-of ironic and unfair?”

In an emotional burst Sargsyan also shrugged his shoulders thrice through the session. The meeting ended as the Minister of Economy Nerses Yeritsyan chopped of his little finger to apologize for inability to improve the situation.

“No, I don’t regret chopping it off, as I still have 2 more fingers and the negative economic tendency seems to be slowing down,” said Yeristyan to the excited media representatives. “It’s a bit irritating I will not be able to hi-five my friends anymore, but at least I get to keep the job,” added the minister.

Opposition, however, calls Government as the main culprit for the crisis. “The Government won’t change anything just by chopping of Yeritsyan’s fingers. They should chop off the fingers of bigger fish. Why does Central Bank or Speaker still have ten fingers each? Not to mention Prime Minister himself who has proved total reluctance to chop his own fingers,” said Arman Musianyan in an interview to the National Geographic.

Opposition demands more finger-chopping
Opposition demands more finger-chopping

The Prime Minister, in turn, issued a decree urging cabinet “not to write any stupid request letters to Santa this year, but to target halt of inflation in all correspondence, as well as private prayers.”

While the situation remains dire, opposition youth activists from HIMA launched a campaign of sending minister Yeristyan gloves to express absence of sympathy with the minister’s bodily plight.